Reality

Our legal system will accept the words of a dying person as admissible truth under the evidentiary exception of “Dying Declaration”. It is thought that a person facing eminent death will be honest in the last few moments of life because they wish to unburden their soul and do not want to impede their after life with transgression. The court fundamentally validates the idea that a dying individual has come face to face with death and in that harshest of realities recognizes…no one gets out of here alive.

It is interesting to me the negative reaction I get when I talk to others about death. Most people do not want to speak of death or even acknowledge its existence as if doing so will cause it to occur while others want to avoid the subject because they profoundly fear the idea of their own demise and the finality of death. Death is such a dominating force in the human condition that it has become the main source power for organized religions that give solace to the masses by promising an afterlife. Death is defined as the terrible end of life and for most it is something that needs to be emotionally denied. I do not see it that way and because of that I remain relatively free of the fear of death. For whatever reason I realized at a fairly young age that death was inevitable. Because I was powerless to stop the day of my demise from occurring it seemed a waste of energy to worry about it. My acceptance of this universal reality has given me what many see as a cavalier or even dark view of life. This could not be further from the truth. I do not wish for death, I am sad when someone I love dies, and I do not think that it is wise to live recklessly as if death is at your door but there is a certain level of freedom that comes with the acceptance of the finality of life. Death does not have an emotional hold on me because I exist in the reality…no one gets out of here alive.

I am sitting on a plane as I write this little essay and it occurs to me that a plane flight is very analogous to a life. Flying from one place to another accompanied by a hundred strangers is just like life. There are many who are flying toward their home while others are traveling away from it; some are heading out into the business world while others are going on vacation. A myriad of reasons and motivations and yet within the confines of the plane our origin and destination are identical. Life is a journey that begins with birth and ends in death. Every single person starts out the same and ends the same. Each life is different, filled with decisions and events, mistakes and successes and each comes to a different end that is final for everyone. Along the way, deals are struck and compromises made. Habits and lifestyles shape a life and in many cases have something to do with its end. In the final analysis, we all make choices that define our individual existence. Those choices are hardly ever made with death in mind but instead they are almost entirely made denying that death is eventually going to come to us all. Chasing wealth, allowing the vile motivations of greed and envy to prescribe direction, and coveting material possessions often causes people to choose a path that depletes the value of truth and integrity in their lives. Many seem to forget…no one gets out of here alive.

I attended a dear friend’s 50th Birthday party a few years ago. He is a very financially successful man. He has a wife and children and a beautiful home. He has the financial freedom to access almost anything he wants or needs. When I saw him at the party he was looking a little sad and when I inquired about his mood he told me that getting older was depressing for him. His did not appear to be a depression caused by things unaccomplished but more of a regret of how he had accomplished those things. It seems that, like my friend, there are a high percentage of people who later in life feel this way. As life edges closer to the end and away from the beginning a sense of sadness and doom begins to take hold. The sadness comes when those who live in a subconscious state of denial regarding death realize the price of the poorly motivated choices they have made. The ebb of life forces them to face the fact that many of their decisions would have been different and subsequently some of their present pain could have been avoided if earlier in life they had accepted the reality…no one gets out of here alive.

The reality of all life is that it occurs in the coming shadow of death. Death is neither bad nor good; it is a fact that makes the journey of life precious. It is the denial of death that can lead to sadness when integrity is lost in those times when decisions are made predicated on the idea that life will last forever. The acceptance of death as the undeniable future creates perspective in the now; it makes it easier to navigate life with honesty and integrity as your map and compass. Acknowledging the reality of death is not a morbid thought to be avoided and speaking of it does not create a self-fulfilling prophecy. The acceptance of the unavoidable nature of death is what provides us all with the perspective to have an honorable life. The key is to embrace the inevitable truth…no one gets out of here alive. 

LifeBill Sheppard