Happiness

My father once asked me this question. “If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for?” I replied, “I would wish for a million dollars.” My father smiled and said, “If ever you are granted one wish, wish that you will always be happy, then everything else will take care of itself.” What my father failed to explain was, aside from a fairy granting me a wish, where would I find happiness?

Life is not an easy journey. The world has become very complicated and there are many powerful forces tugging and pulling at each of us. Everywhere you look, society is showing us what is necessary in order for us to achieve personal happiness. First we are broken down by being told that we do not have the things we need to be happy. Our shortcomings range from the clothes we wear to the work we do, from the car we drive to the style of our hair, to the size of our house to the people we associate with, and everything in-between. Then, almost in the same breath, the powers that be tell us that if we had the right car, changed the way we look, bought a larger house, got a different job, wore the latest fashions, associated with right people, hung out in the popular places, we would be happy. They constantly tell us that who we are is the problem, but that we can be fixed by following a prescribed path, acquiring possessions and gaining status. Society fools us into this place of inadequacy by distracting us from who we are as unique individuals and diminishing our station in life by comparing us to others who have achieved wealth and power.

In our daily lives we are inundated with examples of celebrity and we are covertly subjected to the idea that we are “less than”. We pay homage to the powerful who ply their trade on stage and screen, on the professional playing fields, or in the corner office. Celebrity creates the illusion of success and the want in us, to be someone other than who we are. We envy the celebrity, we long to be recognized, to matter on a large scale, and to be heard and admired. Wealth is depicted as the recipes for happiness and creates the belief in us that without large amounts of money, happiness is impossible. We admire the wealthy who seem to have everything and want for nothing. We believe that they have found real happiness. Celebrity and wealth give those who possess it tremendous societal power. Power to be in the position to control others and to make decisions. The common man and woman are conditioned to admire celebrity and to value wealth and power above all else. In this hierarchy of consciousness most people learn to be disappointed by their own lives. Weighed and measured by the scale society provides, we define ourselves by those we are taught to worship. The subliminal message is that our lives are lacking and with heads down we struggle through our common existence unworthy and unhappy. Ironically many of those whom most of us are conditioned to admire and emulate have serious problems of their own. The rich and famous struggle with relationships and addictions; they have financial problems and self esteem issues; they struggle with depression and in some cases commit suicide. Equally ironic is that as we try to conform to a preordained model of happiness, those we hold in high regard achieve success by doing the opposite. Most of those we look up to are in the position they are in because they didn’t follow another’s path but instead believed in and lived their own unique individuality and existence.

When I was a child I would watch a particular cartoon on Saturdays. I do not remember the name of the cartoon but I vividly remember the recurring theme. There were two main characters, a wizard and a turtle. In each episode the turtle would complain about being a turtle and he would beg the wizard to turn him into someone else. The turtle wanted to live a life he thought to be more exciting than his own. Each week the wizard would reluctantly change the turtle into some other character with a different life. The episode would then be about the turtle realizing that he was happier being a turtle. In the end, the turtle who was living the alternative life he had requested in the beginning of the show would always beg the wizard to change him back into a turtle. The wizard would always comply and say, ”Drizzle drizzle drizzle drone, time for this one to come home”.

No one would argue that life is, or is supposed to be, all happiness. Sadness and disappointment are part of every life. It is also true that certain events can bring about a fleeting sense of happiness. But where can we find true sustainable happiness? We do not need to wait for a fairy to grant us one wish. Unlike the turtle we do not have a wizard who can change us into different people. Happiness cannot be given to us or acquired because we already have it. Unhappiness and disappointment are caused by our ill-fated attempts to conform to a model of success and a life spent trying to be someone we are not. Real and sustainable happiness is made possible by an intrinsic belief in one's self and a lifetime of being genuine to that unique self.