A Dollar Waiting On A Nickel

In the work place often times there exists a partnership between a highly trained individual and a person responsible to help them; in the medical field it is the doctor and the nurse; in a corporation it is the CFO and the executive assistant; in the construction industry it is journeyman and the apprentice. Early on in my construction career my father explained the journeyman-apprentice relationship to me as “A dollar waiting on a nickel”. He told me that a good apprentice anticipates the building process and develops a system that insures that the journeyman never has to wait for materials or tools. The creation and implementation of that system is the primary responsibility of the apprentice and their focus should be on that alone. The nickel was there to help the dollar work efficiently. This concept of creating a system of action was very familiar and comfortable for me. Even as a small child I would view most things and actions as merely a collection of parts. I have always been more fascinated by the way things worked than by what they produced. Efficiency in the form of economy of time and movement is something I seem to crave. So it was no great surprise to me that in a relatively short time I became a good apprentice. I was able to keep any journeyman working by staying just one step ahead of them with all that they needed for the next part of a project. However, when I was told to work on my own, often times I floundered. When left to my own devices my system which had been built around another’s work failed me. I was unable to see the end result clearly and so my system which served my journeyman’s vision was made impotent in producing a result. Over the years I learned how to build things on my own and innovations in my personal style surfaced but it was a struggle for me to get to that place.

Systems that are created and then used in the work place can produce higher levels of efficiency and in many cases reduce effort while increasing output. The success of any system of action is predicated on planning and discipline. On a personal level a structured and systematic approach to life will produce certain positive results. At the same time a form of “assembly line” living can give one the sense of comfort. It could even be argued that in the case of fundamental morality a rigid structure is the foundation of a good character. I live a very system oriented lifestyle that is based on a high degree of discipline. Logic and discipline have served me well in the closed structures of sports, academics, and work, however in certain areas of my existence reliance on a system of thought as the basis of action has caused me to value structure over result. Relatively recent introspection has shown me that there is a very fine line between positive discipline and insecurity based rigidity. I am a punctual person but for me to ruin moments in life because another’s tardiness causes me to feel disrespected is just ridiculous. I am a very loyal person but to question the loyalty and commitment of a teammate because, unlike me, they are not willing to sacrifice life and limb to win a meaningless game is silly. I am a person who enjoys exercising but to schedule life around exercise because I am vexed by the thought of missing a workout is mentally unhealthy. I am very efficient person because of my ability to create systems but to hold my own system of doing things so dear that it causes me to be hyper-critical of the ways of others is a negative waste of energy. The source of the underlying rigidity I have concealed in the mask of discipline is the fear of change. Perhaps it is time for me to turn and face that fear and change.

It is clear to me that I have been a great apprentice in life but my journeyman-ship has been spotty. For too long I have focused on the structure of living and avoided the spontaneity of life. I have taken refuge in the system of the nickel and avoided living up to the vision required to be the dollar. My quest is to have the discipline to live parts of my life without a system; to exist in the moment without structure; to internally live without a script. I am going to try but even as I am writing this my mind is beginning to inventory the parts and forming a plan. I guess this undertaking is like most that are difficult; the talk is easy…the walk not so much.