Older

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and he described himself as being “older”. My friend is in his early sixties so he is definitely older but not old. It occurred to me that “older” sounds so much better than “old”. Is it just a matter of semantics, simply a product of age or is there a real difference between being “older” and “old”? The fluid concept of “older,” without further context is somewhat nebulous. To me, it implies a life that is still moving forward into the future. Conversely, unless it is being used to describe a fine wine, an antique, or the age of an archeological find, the word “old” has a finality to it. “Old” describes the stationary life condition that most will eventually occupy before death.

Youth or the state of being young has no point of reference. Simply put, when you are young, youth is all you know. You have dreams but there is no internal urgency to bring them to fruition because time appears to have a limitless quality. You take for granted your ease of mobility because movement has never been an issue. The occasional ache or pain you feel is the result of an acute experience and all are gone soon after they arrive. Physically you feel invincible because your body has never failed you. Life stretches out before the young, in what appears to be, a boundless future.

At the other end of life, when you are “old,” being young is a distant memory. Your youthful dreams have either been realized and enjoyed or they have morphed into failure and regret. Gone are the days when movement was automatic and now all things physical require varying degrees of struggle. Pain is not a temporary experience caused by an action or activity, it is a constant condition. Mentally, your confidence has been replaced by vulnerability. Your attention, which was once held by the future is now focused down on each careful step. Your current state of consciousness is a collection of memories.

With the passing of time, the state of “older” creates a contextual background for youth and the understanding of its fleeting nature. Your dreams and expectations must be defined and actively pursued because experience has shown that time is a finite commodity. There is pain, but its origin is clear and in most cases can be navigated. The loss of physicality and the void created by the disappearance of the boundless energy of youth can be offset with experience and guile. “Older” is the time of life that exists between the young beginning and the “old” end.

In sports, a player void of physical ailments can simply rely on power and strength to dominate an opponent. But there are many times, in the course of a season, when an athlete’s body is not in optimum working order, and a decision has to be made around the concept of hurt versus injured. There is a big difference between being hurt and injured. When a player is hurt there are physical limitations but he or she can still play. When there is injury, a player is rendered unable to perform. I know from experience that playing hurt and having a positive effect on the outcome of the game is entirely possible. It does, however, require a change of mindset and approach. When I was hurt I relied on deception and experience to be successful. I would compensate for my diminished physicality with an enhanced mental strategy.

A long time ago, when I would come home bruised and battered by a life led at a furious pace, my mother would just shake her head and warn me of the future filled with pain that I would have to endure because of my cavalier mistreatment of my then young body. I would just laugh at her obviously flawed prediction and begin the speedy healing process of the young. As it turns out, her foretelling of my future was quite prophetic, I do pay a painful price for all the injuries I have incurred. I have spent my share of time in the hospital, I limp sometimes because of six knee surgeries, my back has taken a beating from the years construction work and sports, but I do not lament my past. In retrospect, I do not regret the physical toll of my youth. I cherish the memories and accept the pain as the price of a life led fully.

Once upon a time I would bounce up in the morning, prepared to take on all challenges. These days I ease out bed and take an inventory of my chronic but random pain. When I was young I could run like a deer but now I just walk. In the past I was taller or at least straighter than I am now. When I look in the mirror I no longer see too much brown hair, I see a larger forehead accented by thinning gray hair. My once baby face is now a road map of my many years of life. Through all the changes, for the most part, I have remained happy and positive because yes, I am “older” but not “old” yet. There is future ahead of me. In the game of life I am hurt but not injured. I can still play. If you are young you probably don’t understand what I am talking about but trust me when I say…the rest of us do.