The Taking and the Giving

Revenge is a meal that is best served cold. Criticism is a dish that should be presented at the most palatable of temperatures.

Most of my life I have had the view that any criticism leveled at me was a personal attack by others whose dominant motivation was the need to put me in an intellectually subservient position. For that reason, I would bristle at the suggestion that I could perform better or that my ideas were lacking. Unfortunately, in many instances this flawed perspective caused me to act in pseudo-superior way when asked for my opinion. My extreme reactions to critical interactions were caused by my own underlying self-doubt. It was not until I was able to take constructive criticism and disregard that which was meant to diminish me that I learned the nuances of giving advice. It was the ability to see my own vulnerability when seeking a critical eye that allowed me to be understanding of the mental state of those who sought my opinion.

Criticism in today’s world is something which has no bounds and spares no one. Social media has allowed for everything in life to be thrust into the public eye and then ravaged by unwanted opinion. Those who choose a life in the spotlight of celebrity and those institutions that find themselves in the news become the fodder for everyone from the most knowledgeable to the ignorant and insane. Alternatively most people will try and avoid unwanted critique of their lives by keeping the lowest of public profiles. By taking this stance they hope to avoid non-consensual criticism and the embarrassment that goes with it. Consensual criticism in which one person asks for advice or opinion from another they trust is a completely different situation; it is a tenuous relationship in which success relies solely on the ability of both parties to embrace their distinct roles confidently and without agenda

A constructive critique is a series of subtle strokes that recognize effort and inventiveness while at the same time giving useful feedback. It is not a chance for the critic to be heard or to judge nor is it a forum to demonstrate superior knowledge. Successful criticism is a carefully crafted opinion in which the sole intention is to encourage further exploration and sponsor innovation. When asked for their opinion a critic should instantly demonstrate a demeanor that is marked by humility and bound to an effort to be constructive. Those who are tasked with the job of critical evaluation must realize that they are the entity of power in an otherwise fragile attempt at collaboration. The critic must therefore understand that in most cases the creation or idea which is being evaluated is held dear by those seeking their opinion. It is essential that those who are asked to give a critique are able to convey that they are unquestionably driven by the best interests of those who seek their council. Criticism is something that is hard to embrace and more importantly hard to use as a tool of change. The wrong choice of words or strength of tone will render an opinion moot and damage any future attempts at giving advice.

Presenting the subject of a critique is difficult because it can inform an emotional response that takes criticism beyond the matter at hand. Criticism can easily be construed as a universal personal indictment rather that a limited subjective opinion. Any form of negativity can be hard to face and can easily sponsor insecurity. For those who seek an opinion it is a moment in which an emotional separation from their idea or creation must be achieved. By distancing themselves emotionally from the object of criticism a creator can shield themselves from wrongly perceived personal criticism. A shield which allows them to hear and give credence to the thoughts of others about a singular idea or subject without it causing them to become universally defensive. Those asking for the opinion of others must do so with the true intention of inviting scrutiny and not as an attempt to secure some form of self-serving validation. Ideas are singular and in no way do they give definition to the whole but in order to prove actual worth, ideas must be able to thrive in the spotlight of honest dissent.

The art of the critique is a task which can only be accomplished with honesty shrouded in sensitive diplomacy. Creativity is a difficult undertaking which requires courage and perseverance. To produce an environment for successful collaboration a bond must be formed between a respect for originality and a trust in unfettered honesty. By seeking a critique of an idea or thing, a creator has cautiously climbed out on to the proverbial limb. Those who are asked to give an opinion would do well to move toward the tree with open arms rather than with a saw in hand.