A Reason

A reason is not a false attempt to persuade or an excuse to take a certain action. It is a fact which, when woven into a series of other truths and then tested by honest experience, becomes an explanation and a path to a solution. Since a reason and the action it supports is based in truth and adheres to logic it can withstand the honest attempts to disprove it. A consequence is not a reason; it is a punishment. It is not a logical explanation but simply an attempt to frighten someone into conforming to a rule or code. Without reason, consequence is simply a weak attempt to deter bad behavior instead of forming a logical basis for positive behavior. A threat of punishment does nothing to develop reasoning in those threatened by it. More often than not, it fosters rebellion and challenges the rebellious to somehow flirt the forbidden for the thrill of escaping detection.

Scripted punishment used as a negative motivation to thwart deviance has very little effect on actual behavior. If you threaten someone with universal punishment you have not taken into account their life situation and their view of consequences. The threat of prison to deter crime can work on people who have a positive foreseeable future but is completely impotent in stopping or controlling those who live life of day to day survival. For some this makes prison an unthinkable nightmare and for others an almost preordained certainty. In this reality, consequences that are put in place prior to an act in an attempt to control future behavior are relatively powerless. On a less criminal scale, punishments which are put forth as threats are weakened by the fact that for the most part they are not strictly carried out. This inconsistent implementation of penalty gives many the unrealistic view that they can either sidestep consequences and/or escape detection. Punishment is no match for excitement, fun or, in the case of desperate criminal behavior, the possibility of monetary gain and therefore is rarely given serious behaviorally altering consideration.

I was raised in an environment dominated by academics, athletics, and a familial expectation of performance and behavior. I went to Catholic schools which were steeped in a Christian moral code. These dominant religious underpinnings of my early education created a construct of unattainable perfect behavior which insured the presence of sin and the need for penance. Athletics were coached by men who knew very little about the nuances of the sport they were coaching. Hampered by a lack of  personal understanding of the game, they were charged with teaching; they did not inspire with knowledge but instead used a system reward and punishment to support an unwavering adherence to their authority. I was raised in a large family with a very strong code of proper behavior. My parents had very little time for explanation, so they maintained our blind obedience to a set of rules by backing them up with severe consequences divergence. These three forces taught me to think and form opinions but none of them did anything to develop my ability to reason in random and impromptu situations. Therefore, I fell victim to a lack of tempering of impulse control. That became a source of many mistakes in which I was punished physically, emotionally, financially, and criminally. It was not until I was exposed to education in an environment of logic, played for coaches who could explain the strategy of a game plan, and was accepted by my parents as an adult to be advised that I began to experiment with intellect rather than impulse to navigate life’s decisions.

Reasoning and the awakening of a value system is a proactive way to impact the decision process at the crossroad between positive and negative actions. Creating a logical approach to life and an ability to weigh action against future opportunity is the ultimate preemptive strike on poor judgement and the missteps that inevitably follow. When attempting to impact the lives of young people it is essential to listen to their point of view. It is ludicrous to believe that anyone will respect those who do not respect them in return. Concurrently, the concept that age equals wisdom is equally flawed. Age must be coupled with experience to have credibility in the arbitration of a decision and the accepting of advice. It is the respectful dissemination of advice that creates the internal support system for the meeting of behavioral expectations. Logic-based direction combats the impulsive nature of the young by developing in them a rational basis for future decisions. Accountability and consequences that go with transgression are necessary and for most unavoidable but, if you want a young person to avoid some of the pitfalls of their youth, it is best to concentrate on supplying reasons that support them acting in a productive way, not on the severity of the punishment they will receive if they get caught deviating from the rules.