Two Sides of Pride

“What the weak head with strongest bias rules is pride, the never-failing vice of fools”.  Alexander Pope

There are seven deadly or cardinal sins within Christian teachings that define vice and thus immoral behavior. They are pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. Pride is considered the most egregious of the seven because it is believed to be the primary cause of all the other cardinal sins. Those afflicted with the sin of pride believe themselves to be a superior human or even god-like. The transgressor lives in a state of profound egotism that causes them to place their own wants and needs ahead of the welfare of others. This hubristic sense of superiority leaves the prideful person intellectually and emotionally crippled, unable to value others as equals, and therefore beholden only to their own singular set of beliefs and opinions. The false confidence that is the offspring of pride will eventually doom the prideful and all those who follow them. Incorrect decisions, faulty conclusions and wrong paths taken cannot be corrected because the pride of the corrupted soul will not allow for the admission of a mistake or a change of course. Instead, those emboldened with hollow and destructive pride will make excuses, rationalize and blame others for failure in an effort to maintain their own imagined greatness.

While it is true that self-aggrandizing and baseless pride is one of the seven deadly sins, being righteously proud of oneself or of another is a beautiful and positive experience. In any and all circumstances, albeit in sports, television, movies, theater, or real life, nothing moves me like seeing one human being demonstrating that they are proud of another. To be the focus of a friend or loved one’s pride creates and emotional state in the receiver that is only rivaled by the feelings inspired by love; it is truly a gift to let someone know that you are proud of them. In the moment of being the subject of another’s pride, it becomes possible to become rationally proud of one’s self. This pride, which is founded in reality and actual experience, is a feeling that gives rise to confidence and thus a heightened self image. Simultaneously it raises the bar of behavior by creating a greater future standard of action and achievement. It fosters the want in all of us to be the source of another’s pride and therefore legitimately proud of ourselves.

I have been blessed with the opportunity to coach and teach children about sports and indirectly life. Watching those under my tutelage play and succeed has far surpassed all the championships and personal awards I have amassed in my own athletic life. In those precious moments of achievement created by an individual or a team I have not stood stoically by but instead I have demonstratively expressed the pride their effort has inspired and earned. The mutual feeling that rises out of the moment of exchange forms the basis for future success. To be proud of another and thus creating pride is a gift that perpetually pays abstract and tangible dividends.

When my father passed away, so many years ago, it was a very difficult time for me. In his later years, our relationship had become more than the traditional, we had become best friends. A few weeks after his death, I played golf with a couple men that were in my father’s regular Saturday foursome. I was standing on the first tee waiting to begin the round when one of the men took me aside. He offered me his condolences and then went on to tell me that my father had often told stories and even bragged about me to the group. It was unquestionably apparent to all of them that my father was extremely proud of me. Those few words from my father’s friend were very kind and they did bring a small amount of relief to my burden of grief. It was very comforting to know that my father loved me and was proud of me. The only thing that would have made this revelation better was if, while still alive, my father had told me himself.

Pride…I will always try and behave in a way that I can be proud of myself and earn the pride of those that love and care for me. Proud…when warranted, I will always demonstrate and convey to others that I am proud of them so that they too can be proud of themselves. It is true that pride can be the worst of the seven deadly sins but it can also be a beautiful gift to be given and received.