My reason

Recently I had a conversation with a young man who was preparing to go off to college and start the next chapter of his life. Although we are quite different in age we have developed a close relationship over the years of his childhood. As with most young people he is filled with optimism as he stands poised to embark on the next chapter of his life. I can only smile as I listen to his thoughts that are so filled with innocence and real hope. As I listen to his youthful vision I can recall when I too was young and so full of anticipation. Although the voice in my head knows that life is a very hard proposition I stay quiet because I want everything he dreams of in life to come true. The last time we were alone, right before he left for college, I asked him if there were any questions he had before leaving that I could answer. I was hoping that my simple inquiry would open the door to me being able to give him some parting advice before he went out into the world to fend for himself. He looked at me and said, “Why?” He was not asking me why I wanted to advise, he was inquiring about the larger question of why. He wanted to know the meaning of it all; the reason for life. I was not able to come up with an answer at the time but now, after some consideration I have arrived at my own personal theory.

The meaning of life, the reason people keep trying to move forward and live is to be happy and while the answer may seem simple the discovery of true happiness eludes most people. Life creates a multitude of situations that puts each of us on a path. We are all tasked with the acquiring and maintaining of the basic necessities of life such as food and shelter. The burden of survival in this complicated world causes most of us to become numb to the relentless monotony of the day-to-day grind. These constant requirements consume most of our energy and leave very little time to pursue that which we believe will make us happy. In our few idle moments we allow ourselves to dream of the thing or situation that would insure our happiness. Many believe that money and the power that it provides will bring with it an everlasting happiness. There are others that believe that if they could just get a certain job or be with a particular person all would be perfect. Too many, believing happiness to be impossible, self-medicate with substance or vice to escape. A small unfortunate percentage of people become so tortured by their inability to find a reason for living end their lives by suicide. All are trying to find the happiness that gives life meaning. Perhaps all are looking in the wrong place.

In the face of these realities I sit and wonder about what it is that makes me happy and consequently my life worth living? I have discovered over the years that the common vein in every positive moment of my life is pride. Being true to myself and retrospectively proud of my behaviors is the basis of every happy memory of my life. The times I have felt loved and the times I was able to convey love to another; the moments when I acted in ways that caused those who care about me to be proud; the pride I have felt when I witnessed someone in my charge succeed because of what I have taught them; the camaraderie of friends and teammates; the moments I could console a loved one and the support I have felt when the situation was reversed; the experiences survived through laughter and tears that strengthened my connections to others; the protection given and the problem solved; the calm that was achieved when granting forgiveness and the relief that was felt when receiving it. These memories are the reference points of my happiness and the fuel that drives me to long for and seek out similar and yet new experiences in the future. It is the quest for future positive human interaction that grants me the possibility of intrinsic happiness and thus propels me down the road of my own existence with a reason to live. 

So to my young friend and all those who are searching for their own reason for living this is my answer. The joy of my life, my happiness, is directly correlated to the value of my behaviors in moments of opportunity. Moments of opportunity are those that carry with them the chance for me to be true to myself and proud of who I am. These positive experiences that I look for in my future will not provide me food or shelter nor will they give me wealth or power but they are priceless to me because they are the source of my happiness and thus the reason I rise in the morning.