The Training Of Person

I have been in business as a personal trainer for twenty years. In that time I have trained many clients from all walks of life. Men and women, each with a unique story, who all sought coaching to get more from their efforts in the gym. They hired me to help them to become healthier, stronger and to change their body into one more visually pleasing. For most, the healthier and stronger part of the equation is far secondary to the look they hope to achieve. They have come to the gym consciously or unconsciously to please the mirror. Unfortunately and almost without exception the mirror lies to them. Most of them suffer from some form of dysmorphic image of themselves. Men will see arms that are to thin and a body lacks definition. Women always seem to see fat so they will spend hours on some form of cardiovascular machine counting the calories burned. Throughout the gym there are hundreds of people with the same false image. In some extreme cases, false body image will develop into serious problems such as anorexia and drive others to use steroids or resort to plastic surgery. Bad decisions will be made based on erroneous perceptions. Accurate assessment cannot be made by looking in the mirror because in many cases people are impacted by inaccurate perceptions. I come from an athletic background where performance is what matters, not how you look in your uniform. I try to teach my clients to stop paying homage to the mirror and instead work hard to achieve strength and cardiovascular improvement; to lead them away from a subjective assessment and to an objective reality. By disavowing the negative narrative between the mind’s eye and the mirror and replacing it with objective quantitative results, progress is guaranteed. Focusing on things like the amount of time it takes to go three miles on the treadmill or how many pushups can be done will produce quantifiable progress. Improved performance will create a healthy and stronger body and with it will come a change in appearance regardless of what the lying mirror says.

In the course of the last two decades many of my clients have become my friends. They have told me countless stories regarding families, jobs, relationships, heartache, love, success, and failure. As I have listened to these very smart and successful people I am invariably surprised by how out of touch they are with their own personal reality. In many circumstances the physically dysmorphic perceptions that plague them from the mirror are also present in the emotional self-perceptions of their mind. They do not see themselves accurately so they live with the sense that they are the source of the problem not the vessel of the solution. I have counseled most of my clients in a variety of situations and at some point in my relationship with almost every one of them I have said some form of the following:

“If you could see yourself through the eyes of those who love you, worries would turn to hope, insecurity would vanish in a pool of confidence, regret would evolve into a tool for a brighter future, and life would no longer be a struggle of endurance but instead an exciting journey to be enjoyed".

In reality, the life and problems they are facing are adversely compounded by a lack of honest knowledge of self. Instead of the image seen in the mirror distorting their physical perception it is now society and the world at large that diminishes their self-image. The competitive nature of society creates a hierarchy of success that seems to force most to compare themselves with those who seem to have more. They take on the role of the “less-than” by subconsciously agreeing with this subliminally negative narrative. While in this downward spiral, talents and accomplishments are forgotten and the void is filled with the erroneous belief that all others are superior. Unfortunately this false state of consciousness often times breeds poor decisions and equally bad outcomes.

The solution to a better and more accurate view of oneself is directly analogous to the quantitatively objective approach used to positively impact physical conditioning in the gym. Rather than relying on a flawed and biased externally based view, through introspection an internally based, honest and comprehensive assessment can be made and a future plotted. I cannot speak to the introspection of another and I can never claim to truly understand another person’s life, so I will use my own life as an example of the course of action I am trying to explain. This is what I tell myself...this is my mantra:

"There are things in my life that I know I can control and others that I must live through. My talents and accomplishments are mine and I must force myself to actively recognize them. I will nurture my strengths to produce growth and success but never use them as a shield for my insecurities or a denial of weakness. Weakness is a cause for struggle but it can also be an opportunity for change. Change is an inevitable component to every life that inherently produces fear but it also creates excitement. Excitement is a feeling that I will seek because it establishes a true sense of value. I have the power to harness and enhance the value of my life. Life is filled with decisions that cannot be made without some mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable but I will not be defined by regret. I will use my state of temporary regret to learn and make better decisions in the future. My future is mine to determine; my life will be something I have lead not endured".

In the gym a false sense of weakness can be produced by staring into the mirror; strength can be improved by doing push-ups on the floor or running faster on the treadmill. A life can only be accurately assessed by turning away from tainted view of the outside world and focusing your own honest energy inward. By recognizing and actively living as the only true expert of self you can become the strongest determining factor of your future.